Caregiver stress is a real thing, if you’re in the midst of caring for elderly parents, you’ll find that it can carry a lot of the similar symptoms of regular stress from a job or other situation—it can be worse because it also combines with grief, pressure, and all of the worry that comes with aging parents.
The adult children or relatives of elderly parents feel a whole new realm of stress by taking on an unexpected caregiver role. But self-care, support groups, and other stress-relieving activities can help mitigate the effects of caregiver stress. It may even be time to consider in-home care or assisted living facilities as viable options. These facilities provide essential support such as daily living assistance, meals, and social activities, allowing elderly individuals to maintain independence with access to necessary care.
We put together some tips to help feel less stressed and be more helpful to your elderly parents when they need it most.
Understanding the Challenges of Caring for Aging Parents
Caring for aging parents can be a complex and emotionally challenging experience for many adult children. As parents age, they may require increasing levels of care and support, which can be physically and emotionally demanding for caregivers. Understanding the challenges of caring for aging parents is essential for providing effective support and ensuring the well-being of both the caregiver and the aging parent.
Emotional and Physical Challenges of Caregiving
Caregiving for aging parents can involve a range of emotional and physical challenges. Emotionally, you might find yourself grappling with feelings of guilt, anxiety, and stress. Watching a loved one decline can be heart-wrenching and may bring about a sense of helplessness. Physically, the demands of caregiving can lead to fatigue, sleep deprivation, and decreased productivity. The constant need to be available can also result in social isolation, as you may have less time for social activities and self-care.
The relationship dynamics with your aging parent can add another layer of emotional complexity. You might experience feelings of resentment or anger, especially if you feel that your parent is not receiving the care they need or if the caregiving responsibilities are not equally shared among family members. Additionally, the process of watching your parent age and decline can bring about feelings of sadness and grief as you confront their mortality and your own.
Signs of Caregiver Burnout
Caregiver burnout is a common issue for those caring for aging parents. It’s important to recognize the signs early to prevent it from affecting your well-being and the quality of care you provide. Some common signs of caregiver burnout include:
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Persistent fatigue or exhaustion
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Increased irritability or mood swings
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Decreased productivity or motivation
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Social isolation or withdrawal
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Neglect of your own physical and emotional needs
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Heightened stress or anxiety
If left unaddressed, caregiver burnout can have serious consequences. It can lead to a decreased quality of care for your aging parent, increased stress and anxiety for you, and a decline in your overall well-being. Recognizing these signs and seeking support when needed is crucial for maintaining a healthy balance.
How to Manage the Stress of Being a Caregiver
The first thing you need to know about feeling stressed about caring for your elderly family members is that it is 100% okay and normal to feel this way. Give yourself permission to feel stressed because this is one of the hardest things anyone should have to do. Burying stress rather than embracing it and taking care of it when you need to can lead to caregiver burnout, or worse.
Some of the ways family caregivers can manage their stress include:
1 – Join a Support Group
Talking to other caregivers who are in similar situations can be helpful. They get it, and you can vent to them about the day-to-day challenges you’re facing. Many support groups exist both online and in-person so you can always get the support you need. Some great online support groups include:
- The Alzheimer’s Foundation of America
- Caregiver Action Network
- Working Daughter
- Family Caregiver Alliance
- Parent to Parent USA
- National Alliance on Mental Health (NAMI) Family Support Groups
Support groups can also help address mental health concerns for caregivers.
All of those groups are specifically designed to help family caregivers manage their mental health and stress while caring for an elderly parent or relative. The stress of caregiving, especially for a loved one who could perhaps suffer from dementia or other ailments, can take a serious toll. Conversing with people in similar situations can help alleviate some of the loneliness and depressive symptoms that come with caregiver burnout and stress.
2 – Don’t Feel Guilty
When a parent gets older or suddenly requires medical care and more attention from you, it’s ok to feel your feelings—especially if this isn’t something you were expecting. Feelings of guilt are common for caregivers, but try not to dwell on them too much. You’re doing the best you can in a difficult situation, so cut yourself some slack.
3 – Set Boundaries
While you may want to drop everything to care for your loved one, that can and will quickly take a toll on your life. If you work another job, have your own family, and have other life things to handle; you will burn out immediately if you don’t make boundaries for caregiving for your aging parent.
You can set times where you check on them regularly, split duties with siblings or other family members, and ensure their nurse or assisted living facility only calls for emergencies. These boundaries can help ensure your mental health and well-being stay intact so that you can be there for your loved one. Additionally, proper medication management is crucial in ensuring they receive the necessary care and maintain their overall health.
4 – Know When to Ask for Help
This is one of the hardest things for caregivers to do, but it may be necessary at some point. If you’re struggling to keep up with work, appointments, family life, and caring for your parent—it may be time to ask for help from a professional or home health aid. Respite care services can provide temporary relief, allowing you to take a break and recharge.
Doing just these four things is vital for adult children caring for their aging parents. Most of you never asked to have such a role, and even if you saw it coming, it can be a shock and is a major lifestyle adjustment. So managing that stress is essential to not only keeping your own well-being in check but the well-being of the loved one you’re watching over.
How to Alleviate Stress (8 More Tips)
Helping manage the stress that comes with caregiving is one thing, but if you aren’t taking care of yourself and your stress outside of that, it will make it even harder. Many caregivers are doing so while also managing their own life, a full-time job, their families, and all the other things that life brings our way.
So here are some helpful tips for managing stress to make taking care of elderly parents a little less emotionally draining. Addressing health concerns is crucial in managing stress and ensuring both caregivers and seniors receive the necessary support.
5 – Stay Physically Active
Working out not only releases endorphins that can make you feel good but can also help reduce stress. Taking a break to go on a walk, run, or to the gym can help you come back feeling refreshed and less stressed about everything else going on in your life.
Sometimes being a caretaker can be really taxing and time-consuming, so making even 10-15 minutes a day to do something active like a walk around the block can be vital to getting your blood flowing and endorphins released.
6 – Drink Plenty of Water
Water is essential for our bodies to function but can also help improve our mood and mental state. When we’re dehydrated, we can get headaches, feel fatigued, and even be in a bad mood. This can make the job of caretaking even more difficult.
Drinking lots of water is key to not only keeping our bodies healthy but also managing stress levels. If you find yourself getting tense or feeling overwhelmed, try drinking a glass of water and see if that helps calm you down.
7 – Eat a Balanced Diet
In addition to drinking enough water, eating a balanced diet can actually prevent symptoms of fatigue, depression, anxiety, and more. B vitamins are essential for boosting mood, brain health, and are often called the “anti-stress supplement”.
Where can you get vitamin B?
- Whole grains
- Fruit
- Eggs
- Meat
- Etc.
You can always take a daily supplement as well. And while you’re at it, make sure you get plenty of vitamin A, C, and D which help boost your immune system. This can make that you stay healthy while caring for older individuals who may not have the immune systems they once did.
8 – Get a Good Night’s Sleep
This one can be hard to come by but is so important for managing stress. When we’re tired, our moods are off, we’re more likely to make mistakes, and our cognitive function isn’t as sharp.
So if you find yourself feeling stressed during the day, try to get to bed earlier that night and see if that helps. And if you exercise, drink water, and eat healthily—good sleep can occur as a snowball effect. All of these good things you do for your body all work together.
9 – See a Therapist for Mental Health Concerns
While your physical health is clearly something that can help manage stress and better your mental health overall—therapy can help take care of mental health issues like depression, grief, self-doubt, etc. All of these feelings can come flooding in when we are putting all of our eggs into one basket when caring for an aging parent.
A therapist can help you navigate the struggles that come with dealing with grief and the various mental gymnastics you have to go through when acting as a caretaker for a loved one. You won’t be able to help anyone if you are pouring from an empty cup, so to speak. So seeking therapy can be very effective for people who are caretakers but also, in general, to help manage the stresses of life. A therapist could also help you game plan your caregiving or plan for an assisted living community that suits your needs.
10 – Talk to and Hang Out With Friends
This one is vital and is something that many people forget to do when they’re bogged down with work, family, and other obligations. When we feel overwhelmed, it can be easy to just hole up and not want to see anyone but that will only make you feel worse in the long run.
Making time for friends and family is essential to maintaining your own life even while you’re caring for someone else’s. Friends can be a form of therapy as well, whether you do or don’t vent about the caretaking struggles you’re experiencing. They can just be there to be uplifting.
11 – Maintain a Daily Routine
This is another important one for managing stress. When we have a daily routine, it can help us feel more in control and less chaotic. This can be anything from taking a shower and getting dressed first thing in the morning to working out every other day or taking some time each night to read before bed. Having a daily routine can help organize your thoughts and maintain a level balance of stress so when things come up they’re less likely to derail everything else.
12 – Don’t Sacrifice Your Own Needs
While you are caretaking for a loved one, it can be easy to want to put your wants and needs on the backburner. But that’s how you experience severe caretaker burnout, guilt, and stress. This goes hand in hand with self-care and setting those boundaries needed to protect yourself.
You need to be able to take care of yourself first in order to be able to properly take care of someone else. And that doesn’t make you a bad person, it just makes you a human being who needs time, attention, and love. So don’t forget about your needs while you’re caring for another—it’s essential to your well-being.
Navigating Financial Responsibilities
Caring for aging parents often involves significant financial responsibilities. As a caregiver, you may find yourself managing your parent’s finances, which can include paying bills, managing investments, and making important financial decisions. Navigating these responsibilities can be overwhelming, especially when dealing with complex financial systems like Medicaid or Veterans’ benefits.
To manage these financial responsibilities effectively, it’s important to stay organized and informed. Keep detailed records of all financial transactions and seek professional advice if needed. Understanding the financial resources available to your aging parent, such as insurance policies, retirement funds, and government benefits, can also help alleviate some of the financial burdens.
Remember, you don’t have to navigate these responsibilities alone. Seeking support from financial advisors, social workers, or support groups can provide valuable guidance and help you manage the financial aspects of caregiving more effectively.
Outsourcing Critical Caregiver Roles
This one is a big one and can be difficult to do but can make all the difference. If you’re feeling overwhelmed with the caretaking role, it’s important to outsource some of those critical roles to someone else who can help.
There are in-home health aides that can come in and help with things like bathing, dressing, and grooming. There are also Meals on Wheels programs that can deliver hot meals to your door so you don’t have to worry about cooking. And there are plenty of other services out there that can help with things like transportation, errands, and even just providing some respite care so you can take a break.
When the time comes to get a full-time care team to help your loved one, lean on Sunflower Communities. Our dedicated team of caregivers focuses on memory care and round-the-clock attentiveness that your aging parent needs. We can maintain open, clear communication with you throughout their time with us so you can feel supported and not replaced. Reach out to us today for more information.